Firsts
by RainbowNinjaD
Summary: An edited oneshot of the first chapter of an old fic, Hide and Seek  no longer being written. Roxas loses his best friend, the one was all of his firsts. First friend. First kiss. First everything.


This is a story that I had as a multichaptered, Rated M fic for a while. I decided to change it into a one-shot. In the original, it was Marluxia, not Axel. Review Please.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Roxas walked through the wooden doors of the funeral home. His body was moving absentmindedly as he gazed at the floor. The carpet was dusty, the particles flying up with the footsteps of everyone in the room. The blond watched the specs of dust drift aimlessly to the floor before taking his seat in the front row. He continued to stare at the ground until his best friend's father walked to the front of the room and started talking.

Roxas slowly looked up and a sharp pain echoed through his body. The scene was obviously sorrowful, but to Roxas, it was like his world was falling into pieces. The casket, the flowers, the picture of his best friend since kindergarten; it was all so overwhelming. Roxas' eyes drifted to the picture of a smiling redhead lying in the grass.

Roxas remembered that picture well. He kept a copy of it inside his binder. The day it was taken was the first day of summer after tenth grade, the summer when the sickness started. Axel had invited Roxas and many others to a picnic at the park beside the school. Roxas was the only one that showed. They had eaten sandwiches and drank juice boxes. They both felt like kids again, so after lunch, they played hide and seek. It had all went well, until Roxas hid a tree and wasn't found for an hour.

After the temporary sense of abandonment from Roxas, the two had laid in the grass for hours. Axel had fallen asleep and Roxas had picked up his camera that was always with him. When Roxas had aimed the camera at Axel, the latter opened his eyes and smiled. He leaned up and kissed Roxas softly, effectively stealing his first kiss. The blond had been so mad, but couldn't help but forgive his redhead. The next day, Axel had been diagnosed.

Roxas now changed his gaze to the casket. The casket was bought months before this, when the doctors told the redhead's mother that he only had six months left. The cancer had spread so fast, Roxas couldn't believe the past year of his life. Axel lasted a whole three months longer than expected, but he was only 18 when he passed. He was hospitalized and bed ridden for the last two months and Roxas stayed with him every single night. Roxas' eyes teared up thinking about the frail body that Axel had turned into. He had looked whiter than the sheet he called home.

"Don't forget me Roxas, but please be happy." Those words ricocheted through the blond's mind and tears rolled silently down his cheeks. Roxas wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He had promised himself he wouldn't cry, that it would only make this harder. The blond forced himself to be strong.

Roxas heard his name resonate throughout the room. Axel's father looked at him expectantly from the podium in the front of the room. He stood up and wiped his eyes again. He shuffled to the podium hollowly and stared at the chipped wood in the stand before looking up into the sea of people. He saw a bunch of people from school, but none of them meant as much to him as Axel did. Roxas cleared his throat and looked down at the podium, as if preparing to read from an invisible paper.

"Everything reminds me of him. When I see a newspaper I think of gluing them to walls and ripping them off. It left cool oily marks on the paint. When I see little kids at school or in the park, I think of that fateful first day of kindergarten. Back then, and even now, nobody paid attention to me. I had no friends in preschool and on the first day of kinder, I could already tell no one liked me. So I went to recess, and a first grader came up to me. He said, 'Ya know, if you're lookin' like that, nobody'll play with ya!' then spouted out his signature, 'The name's Axel, got it memorized?' It turns out that he didn't have friends either, so we decided to play together. That day was like the beginning of my life. I met the most brilliant, talented, kindhearted person I have ever and will ever know. He was always there for me. Two years ago, when both of my parents died, he was there.

When I found out the news, my heart shattered, my world sank, my balloon burst. I know his death was inevitable. I spent everyday with him and when I couldn't, I talked on the phone with him as long as I could. Now that he's gone, I don't know what will happen next. I don't know what to do anymore. All I want in life is my best friend. I want the one who took my first everything back: my first friend, my first kiss, my first party, my first drink, my first fuck after my first, second, and third drinks. I want him. You probably all think I'm desperate and whiny, but I don't care. He told me to be happy, but I just don't see that happening." Roxas trailed off and stood at the podium, staring at the casket. The design etched into the wood spoke to the boy. It spoke of all the memories of his Axel. Roxas' eyes teared up again. This time he blamed it on the dust.


End file.
